- Recently, more and more people have been trying to give me hugs…
- My new manager at work is the boyfriend of my old manager, the one who tried to get me fired. Yay!
- My boss has this annoying habit of whistling at me like I’m a dog.
- He also tends to tell people what to do as they’re in the middle of doing it. As I’m sweeping, “hey, sweep that up.” Thank you, I wouldn’t have known what to do.
- I had someone complain about a cricket being in one of the auditoriums…yeah, let me go find a black cricket in a dark theatre. I love looking for a needle in a haystack too.
- I’ve never understood people who take themselves seriously all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I have my serious moments, but I also constantly take things said in absolute normalcy and make them completely inappropriate….because that shit’s funny. If you can’t have a little fun, well.
- Why do they even make candy flavors like grape, lime, and lemon? (I’ll have you know that I like grapes and lemonade, but I don’t like them in candy) There are probably 10% of people who willingly eat those…and guess what, I’m not part of that 10%, so just knock it off.