Random Thoughts of the Week: July 20th-26th

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  • If you remember me talking about disability barbie a few weeks back then you should know that I found her crutch this past week at work. Seriously, it was a miniature crutch. What are these kids doing to their dolls that they need to ride around in wheelchairs and use crutches?

  • I was working when there was a chick that was handing out free comic books, and she asked this mom and her four kids, one boy and three girls, if they wanted one. The mom said no and then asked the boy if he wanted one. What if the girls wanted one?

  • I watched a 60 year old man check out an 18-20 year old woman, and he wasn’t subtle about it. She walked by him and he stopped, turned around and gave her the up-down look.

  • I’m not the type of person who tells someone there fly is down and I don’t want anyone to tell me if mine is down…it’s embarrassing for everybody. Was I intentionally looking at your crotch, were you looking at mine? Who’s to say? Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

  • I keep getting invited to Mary Kay parties…

  • What’s worse is that I’m going because my friend suckered me into it! Someone pray for me not to lose my mind.

  • I am not a fan of someone who needs people to like them and gets upset when they don’t.

  • If you’re late then I’m automatically annoyed, especially if you are late all the time.

  • I love, lovewhen someone tells me how to do my job when they’ve only been working there for less than a year and I’m going on three years.

  • I want you all to know that sometimes it’s really hard to write a blog every week; sometimes I don’t run into enough idiots during the week. I feel like that should be a good sign, maybe people are getting smarter.

Change is Gonna Come

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I’m amazed at people who deal so well with change or even go out of their way to find it, because I am definitely not one of those people. I stay up all night worrying about what my future holds and what I’m going to do, and then there are the people who just roll with the punches. I need to learn to stop worrying.

My parents recently told me that they were moving back to Arkansas after I graduate from college in December, and I realized that my future was coming at me head on. If you’ve been reading my blog from the beginning then you’ll know that I still live with my parents, happily so; them moving means I’ve finally got to get my shit together and start planning what I’m going to do after I graduate. Granted, I’m making it sound like I have no plans at all; I do, I have plans and an outline of what I want to do but I guess now it seems a lot more urgent than before.

Now most people are ashamed to admit they still live with their parents when they’re 21, but I’m the complete opposite. I’m a realistic person and I know that I don’t make enough money to completely support myself without feeling some sense of worry. Why put all that pressure on myself when I have two of the most wonderful parents in the world who will let me live with them and, if we’re being honest, want me to. You might be thinking to yourself, “Oh I doubt they actually want you to still live with them,” but trust me when I tell you that they do. When they first told me, both my mom and stepdad asked me if I’d be moving with them; it could’ve been because I currently live with them and they didn’t think I’d be able to afford living on my own, but I truly think they won’t know what to do when I’m gone. I’m their favorite child, and their my favorite people in the whole world, so it works for us. Most of the time I’ll be back in my room where they never see me, but no matter what, my parents and I eat dinner together almost every night and they’ve always had the option of yelling at me to come hangout with them if they missed me. Last week, I talked about how I spend almost 75% of my time, if not more, with my parents or sibling; what do I do when they move?

If you read this and you’re one of those kids who talks about how annoying your parents are or how much you want to move out, then you should take a long look at your life; make sure you aren’t being an arrogant little asshole who thinks they know better than their parents, because chances are your parents are probably really great people who are just trying to raise a decent and respectable human being. I’m grateful for the type of people that my parents are, and the way they’ve handled raising me and my siblings. Seriously, don’t ever take your parents for granted; sure, they can be annoying at times and give you too many rules, but I’d like to see you do a better job at raising a bunch of little brats.

The second hardest part about my parents moving, which leads me to finding a job and a place to live in a new city is leaving friends behind. I’m terrible at making new friends! The only way I’ve made new friends is because I was forced to be with them for at least 6 months or more through work or school; that’s how long it takes me to get used to someone. I make friends in a way that is opposite from other people; most people are friendly with everyone at first and then stop being friends, only after that person does something to ruin the friendship. I am friendly with no one and only become friends with someone if they do something I deem acceptable of friendship. I think it’s safe to say that it’s going to be a long road of finding friends in a new city, especially since I don’t do things that makes it easier to find friends. For example, I don’t drink and drinking is usually a social factor that people use to make friends. How does anyone make new friends? Honestly, I am looking forward to starting my career and truly being a grown up…it just doesn’t sound like it.

Change sucks. Growing up sucks. Reality sucks.

Random Thoughts of the Week: July 13th- 19th

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  • I’m pretty sure that I spend 3/4 of my time with my parents and/or siblings. Whether that’s because my parents/siblings are cool or because I don’t have any friends…we may never know. Actually I’m pretty sure the reason is both; my parents and siblings are awesome and 95%, who am I kidding probably 99%, of people I run into are stupid.

  • A girl I work with tore a ligament in her leg when she tried to get away from someone who was trying to tickle her. Let me give you some advice: don’t tickle people! Nobody likes to be tickled, in fact, that’s a good way to get punched in the face. If I ever tore a ligament in my leg because I was trying to escape being tickled, I would take a knife to that person’s ligament so they could feel my pain.

  • I had a coworker ask me if I wanted to go to her Mary Kay party; the incentive was that it’s free….yeah, so is torture.

  • Saw another child wearing something that no child should wear; the only way I can describe it would be as a half-a-shirt. I should not be able to see your stomach.

  • She was probably 11 or 12 so her mother is still buying her clothes. To the mother that bought that shirt: what were you thinking?! You probably spent $20 dollars on HALF of a shirt. Why not spend $2o dollars on a whole shirt? Also, don’t let your fucking kid out in skimpy looking clothes, it’s disgusting.

  • I had a girl I work with make a comment about a guy we work with being a rich boy because he’s going to buy an iPad. She says that as she’s driving around in a brand new Mitsubishi Eclipse, carrying her own iPad, talking about how she’s getting a new MacBook for graduation, and how her current Mac isn’t syncing with her iPhone 4….

  • I hate trying to find lids for Tupperware containers. You grab one thinking it’s going to fit because it looks the right size, but no it doesn’t! They all look the same!

  • I overheard a group of young women talking about how people pronounce crayon. We used to have that discussion all the time in high school. I used to pronounce it “crown” and my friends gave me so much shit for it, but I had a friend who pronounced it “cran.” They said that that was better than crown…I don’t see how, but whatever, they won; I now pronounce it the correct way (which isn’t cran!)

  • Anytime I see a grasshopper I think of Hopper from A Bug’s Life; clearly I’m super mature.

  • I HATE when someone brings something back around to their race. I’m not making fun of you because you’re black; I’m making fun of you because I think you’re a moron.

  • I am forever amused by people who try to be cute and it just doesn’t work out. 

Random Thoughts of the Week: July 6th-12th

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  • Saw a guy, probably 19 0r 20, wearing a shirt that could have been sold at the baby gap. If you raise your hand up an inch away from your body and I can see your stomach, then your shirt is too small and you need to rethink your fashion choices.

  • I had a coworker show me her bra at work the other day.

  • If you’re 12 and wearing skin tight shorts, shorts so tight and small that I can literally see your ass…

  • And if you’re a parent that lets their 12 year old wear clothes like that…

  • I went to dinner with some friends and when we the waiter came to pick up the checks he asked, “are we all here?” and my friend replied, “we’re all in your pocket.”

  • Had a new one at work today…one of the guys I work with called to say he was being arrested and couldn’t make it in today. They called him back, on his cell phone, asking if he was coming in or not and he told them he was in a holding cell. Last time I checked, you weren’t allowed to have your cell phone in jail.

  • I had two coworkers argue about who started poking who on Facebook.

  • The same kid who hugged me last week also says things like “no problemo” and “let’s rock and roll”…I didn’t realize I was stuck in the 80s.

  • A kid at my work was reading my blog while we were working and he didn’t laugh once….

  • I saw a girl pushing around, what can be only described as, disability Barbie. It wasn’t technically a barbie; it was one of those American Girl dolls, or some shit like that ,and it had it’s own doll sized wheel chair to be wheeled around.

  • I can’t stand when people ask questions constantly throughout a movie.

  • I always have a desire to punch most children, 5 years old and up, in the face. They whine about everything and scream and it’s annoying.

Random Thoughts of the Week: June 29th-July 5th

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  • I’ve never understood how women can be alright with the double boob thing. Do you not have a mirror? Can you not tell that your bra is too tight and your boobs are being suffocated?

  • I’m pretty sure showers just make you sound better when you sing, which is unfortunate. That false encouragement leads to embarrassing moments.

  • I was selling tickets for the midnight showing of Magic Mike (a movie about strippers) and three 17 year olds came up to buy tickets. One of them said, “I only have a bunch of ones.” I replied, “well you’re seeing the right movie.” They didn’t laugh.
  • Same night, an 18 year old guy walks up and asks for a ticket to Magic Mike while his two friends look at him like he’s crazy. He corrected himself saying he wanted a ticket to Ted….you know what they say about Freudian slips. That kid totally wants the penis.

  • I was checking IDs for Magic Mike again and one girls says, “I didn’t know this was rated R.”

  • I asked for a girl’s ticket and she pulled out 3 different stubs saying, “sorry, these are my movie pants.”

  • I had a woman say to me, “you’re a Nazi…no offense.” I’m pretty sure someone should always be offended when someone calls them a Nazi.

  • I can’t help but sing along to “Call Me Maybe.”

  • One of the new guys at work hugged me…
  • Do you ever wonder what someone sees in someone else? Like, what is it that’s keeping you from gouging your own eyes out when they start talking? I’m just sitting there thinking: