It’s Time to Stop: A look at why slut shaming is a crappy thing to do

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Recently Jenna Marbles came out with a video that is 9 minutes and 23 seconds of shaming girls for having sex (I’m not gonna link to the video because I’m not into giving it views but you can easily find it). I made the mistake of reading the comments and then I got angry and decided that this is something I needed to write. Marbles is by no means the only woman to think this way, but the fact is that she has five million people that watch her videos, and a very heavy chunk of those people are young, impressionable girls.

We’ll come back to Jenna later. Right now I wanna discuss the act of slut shaming itself. It’s something we’ve probably all done in our lifetime. More than likely because we are trained to do so. We are taught at a very young age that girls are to be “sexy but not sexual”, and that girls who have sex are not good people and should be looked down upon when this is just not the case. This type of thinking is extremely harmful in multiple ways. For one, it pits females against their own gender, contributing to girl on girl hate. “Slut” is usually one of the first insults thrown out by somebody towards a woman they dislike, even if they’ve only had sex with their boyfriend, or haven’t even had sex at all! But we attribute people who have sex to be bad and therefore “sluts” are bad and that’s what we call girls we don’t like. It also hinders the feminism. Shaming a woman for what she does with her own body halts the progress we’ve made to make decisions on our own. Slut shaming also supports the double standard of women and men having sex. A man is revered for having a lot of sex, and a woman is put down for it.

But the most harmful thing slut shaming does is strengthen the belief that how a woman acts or dresses leads to her getting raped. Victim blaming is already a huge problem in our world. Saying a woman deserves to get attacked and have a penis forcibly put inside her against her will solely because she dresses in a revealing way is not only cruel but incredibly ignorant.

Slut shaming is just a silly thing to do anyway. A woman is perfectly capable of making her own choices of what to do with her own body, and unless it’s actually hurting you then it shouldn’t matter. “but Alex, girls get pregnant and then I have to pay for their babies with my tax-” oh my god stop. That is maybe the dumbest thing you can say about this whole situation. Also, this problem can be solved be teaching both girls and boys how to be smart and safe about sex.

All this brings us beck to Jenna’s video. As mentioned above, she has five million subscribers, and her top demographic is 13-17 year old girls. That is the prime age when girls are discovering and exploring their sexuality and videos like this only make them feel shitty for doing so. Marble’s is only adding to the problem and is using her influence in the wrong way which is both upsetting and infuriating.

Okay two big things we’ve learned today. 1) How much sex a person has has no relation to their worth as a human being. 2) Slut shaming is harmful in a multitude of ways.

So just don’t do it!

-Alex

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Don’t Let Irrationality Be A Life Sentence

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I’ve been avoiding writing this post because I get worked up just thinking about it, which is probably irrational. Oh the irony! Bear with me while I go on a rant.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, or actually know me, then you’ll know that I work at a movie theatre. Needless to say, the shooting in Colorado was a topic for some of the people I had to deal with the week after it happened. The problem I have with those people, and people in general, is how irrational they are. I had one specific interaction that left me really pissed off, which is what I want to share with you.

I was working on a Thursday night and I had a man come up to me and tell me that he just got done watching Batman and that he saw a man walk in with a “large shoulder bag.” He told me he was afraid the whole time he was watching his movie and he asked me why I would let him in here with a bag. I explained to him that I can’t legally check someone’s bag and that we, as a company, don’t have a policy on not bringing bags into the building. He told me that that was ridiculous and that it was illogical, given everything that’s happened; with that, he walked away shaking his head. I’m going to break this down step by step for you and tell you what I wanted to say, because I wanted to go off on this guy. However, that would be frowned upon by my boss.

  1. First of all, there was no guy with a “large shoulder bag;” there was a man with a little satchel that was hanging off his shoulder, but it was smaller than a fanny pack.
  2. You’re going to stand there and tell me all about how illogical it is that I would let him in, when your illogical and irrational ass is going to sit through an entire movie thinking someone might shoot you?
  3. If we keep people from bringing in bags that means it has to be all bags, which means women can’t bring in purses and parents with young children or newborns can’t bring in bags with items they may need for them. (i.e. diaper bags) You try telling a woman she can’t bring her purse in, because I sure as hell don’t want to be the person to do that.
  4. If you had read the story then you would know that the shooter didn’t bring a bag in with him; he bought a ticket and then left out an exit door, which he left propped open, to get his guns and came back in through that door. In that case, there was no bag to check.
  5. Which brings me to the biggest point I would have thrown in this guys face! Had I checked his bag, or told him that he couldn’t bring it in, and he was intent on shooting people, I would have been the first person to be shot in the face. Then he would have continued on and probably still ended up shooting this mother fucker who found it necessary to complain to me about something that I wouldn’t have been able to stop in the first place.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be outraged or saddened by what happened, but to produce an irrational fear because of it is ludicrous! If you do that, then eventually it’s going to snowball to where your only option is being agoraphobic. Seriously, you’re going to fear going to a movie because you might be shot; what’s next? Are you going to stop driving your car because there are car accidents? Car accidents are the leading cause of death for people of the ages 5-34, and yet you still drive everywhere. If you stopped driving, then you’d probably take up biking or walking; you’re chance of being hit by a car would probably still be higher than that of you being shot. How about your kids? There have been more than a few shootings at schools; are you going to keep them out of school?

Violent and tragic things are going to happen, and to be honest with you, there is no way to stop them. Don’t ever be afraid of something that might happen, it won’t get you anywhere in life. Maybe it will save you from death, but it will also keep you from truly living your life. Isn’t that just a really drawn out death?

“Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.”
― Bertrand Russell

The World We Live In

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Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about how egotistical we are as human beings. I think most, if not all, of us have at some point wondered “how will this affect me?” before we decide to do something for someone else. I think that most of that comes from how we were raised. It’s like when you were in school when there was that one person or group of people who ruin something for everyone else. For example, my senior year I had to go to Saturday school and it was around Christmas time so instead of doing pointless packet work we got to decorate the cafeteria…of course, the people in Saturday school are there for a reason and I should have known that it was too good to be true; so one of the kids was dicking around and ended up breaking an ornament and we had to go back to copying a packet word for word. That’s what’s happened to our society; there’s a small percentage of people who like to make people’s lives miserable and be assholes. That means that we start to question people’s motives; we don’t know if we should help someone because we don’t know if they’re being genuine.

I don’t want anyone who reads this to think that I’m sitting here not including myself in this critique; this seriously happens to me at least once a week. I’ll drive by someone who’s obviously having car trouble or needs some help, but I don’t ever stop. I’m either on my way to work or it’s nighttime and I have to question whether or not it’s in my best interest to stop. For instance, the other night I was driving home from class and a woman was walking alongside the road with a bag in her hand and as I passed she stuck her thumb out. A large part of me wanted to stop, but then everything I’ve ever been taught fought against it. Seriously, just take a minute and think about everything you’ve ever been told about situations like that. I don’t think I’ve ever once been told that I should stop; it’s always something along the lines of “they could murder, kidnap, or rape you.” So of course I drive on past her and tell myself that she could have had someone waiting with her so they could rob me or do something heinous. Of course, then you think later on how ridiculous that seems, but then what happens if you choose not to follow those warnings? What if that one time is the one time you shouldn’t have stopped? The same goes for donating money; is it legitimate or is this some scam I’m being tricked into? How about giving a homeless person spare change; what if they just take that money and spend it on drugs and alcohol?

I think it’s sad that this is what it’s all come down to, but it becomes necessary in the type of world we now live in. Why are there people in the world who have to be wholly evil and ruin our idea of what’s good and right in the world? They ruin that image for all of us. Now children are taught about stranger danger and how to protect themselves at such a young age. Is it unfortunate? Yes, but I can’t sit here and say that it isn’t necessary. It’s a sad, sad world we live in. I don’t think it will change in my lifetime, but one can only hope.

How Could We Be So Heartless?

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In light of the recent Kony 2012 explosion on the internet, I thought I would share my experience, thoughts, what have you, on the subject.

I’ve got to be honest and tell you that I very seriously considered not watching the video at first; I didn’t know what it was about, but all the post said was that it was important and needed to be watched. Maybe it’s because I’m cynical, heartless, desensitized, or all of the above, but I usually don’t bother with stuff like that. Alas, I ended up watching it and crying for almost the entire 30 minutes. It was an extremely moving documentary and my crying probably had to do with the knowledge of what is happening to those people and the realization that I am a complete asshole. Continue reading

My Biggest Flaw?

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I think I’ve found the one aspect of myself that will be my down fall in life: I have too high of expectations for people; I would have said that I expect too much of people, but I don’t think I do. I just think that people should have a certain level of respect and common decency when it’s called for. If that’s asking too much of people then something is seriously wrong with mankind these days. It shouldn’t be a surprise that I had this epiphany after an incident with my brother, who might be the most lacking in respect, decency, and overall consideration for others. Continue reading

Awkward Class Activities

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On the first week back in school I had one of those awkward classes where the professor makes you get together with someone else and you have to tell each other things about yourselves….it wasn’t fun. As you all should know by now, I’m usually a naturally shy person in social situations where I don’t know the other person; add to that the aspect of them asking me questions about myself that I have no idea how to answer, no thank you.

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Storytime with Alex: Roommate Woes

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If you’ve been paying attention to the blog the last week or so, you’ll notice that Amanda and I have started a M/W/F schedule with our posts. You also may have noticed (I doubt it) that I didn’t put one up yesterday. That is because I felt like death. Why did I feel like death, you ask (you didn’t)? I’ll tell you. But I’ll start with a little background info.

First, you should know that I have three roommates. Second, you need to know what the layout of our dorm looks like.

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