Random Thoughts of the Week: August 24th-30th

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  • I had a 4 year old kid grab the gum out of his mouth, hold it out towards me and ask, “can you throw this away for me?”

  • So once again, I asked this couple for their IDs and the guy said, “I have mine, but she doesn’t have hers. She didn’t drive so she doesn’t have it, but she’s 17.”

  • A girl I work with was talking about her yoga pants saying, “they have ‘army’ on the waistband.”…she meant they had camouflage on them.

  • If you bring an entire bag of pistachios to the movies and throw all the shells on the ground for me to clean up then you’re an asshole.

  • Two old women came out of their movie wanting a refund saying, “we didn’t know it was a sex movie.”

  • A coworker told me that he defended me against his friend because his friend said I was acting like a bitch when they came in to see a movie. I’m not sure how many times I have to go through this.

  • The guys working on the pool feel the need to show up at 7:30 and go about making all kinds of ruckus. 7:30 is about 3 hours too early for me.

  • Walking into class on the first day and automatically seeing someone you don’t like is a sign that this semester is going to be rough.

  • Do not, I repeat, do not continuously suck your snot back into your nose; it’s disgusting. Bring a little package of tissues with you next time.

  • Why are you asking a question when the answer is on the screen, directly in front of your face?

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Random Thoughts of the Week: August 17th-23rd

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  • My mom and sister were looking at her old wedding dress, and my sister asked which wedding it was for. My mom told her it was the one to Jim, my stepdad, and my sister asked where the other one was. She told her she wouldn’t want that one because “it was what they called a ‘maternity dress.'” Love you mom!

  • I saw a woman drop her jacket and didn’t notice that it was on the ground. However, the woman standing behind her saw her drop it and proceeded to just stand there and not tell her.

  • I don’t like when we hire newbies at work; I’m not happy/bubbly and they probably go home and cry about how “mean” I am to them. Every single person I’ve ever become friends with has told me that they thought I hated them. Just because I don’t talk to you a lot when I first meet you doesn’t mean I hate you. If it’s a month later and I still don’t talk to you…then you can think I don’t like you, because it’s true.

  • Why is it that whenever you’re running late you get stuck behind the slowest drivers and hit every red light?

  • My main problem with the airport are the people who feel the need to talk to everyone. This isn’t 21 questions, knock it off.

  • I was in the airport waiting on my flight and there was a group of about 10 kids that were on their way home to Colorado from a 3 week long ski trip in Chile…Spoiled brats.

  • Passed a homeless guy holding a sign that read, “need malt liquor and a stripper thanx.”

  • There was a booth in the Denver airport called Climax Jerky.

  • There were so many people on my flight trying to fit their carry-ons in the overhead compartment when it clearly wasn’t going to work. They just kept on trying, while proceeding to block everyone else from boarding.

Random Thoughts of the Week: August 9th-16th

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  • I was working when I saw a guy run past me, back into the theatre; he walked back out a few seconds later carrying a kid.

  • Two coworkers we’re talking in front of me and one of them said, “yeah, he’s my boyfriend.” The guy she was talking to said, “Oh. That’s interesting.”

  • A coworker saw my ID and started laughing immediately.

  • I was doing the Bridesmaids quote/dance, the one where she’s proving that she’s sober, with my coworker in the lobby at work…a girl walked by and totally judged me.

  • I asked for a couple’s IDs and the guy said, “really?” I told him I have to ask if they look under 25. He tells me, “I’m 24.” That’s really awesome! Guess what though? Being 24 makes you “under 25,” fucking idiot.

  • A girl I work with told me that she was going to a pool/movie on the lawn party. My only response was, “good luck with West Nile.”

  • We had to watch a video about what to do in a shooting situation; it was called Active Shooter. Aren’t all shooters active? If they weren’t active then they wouldn’t really be shooters.

  • I had a guy tell me about how big of a whore his mother is.

  • Walked into a bathroom and there was a 14 year old girl taking a picture of herself in the mirror…

  • I saw a 17 year old guy wearing an “I heart vagina” bracelet….one can only hope he wants to be a gynecologist, and not a professional douche bag.

  • A woman called for my boss and he had me tell her to call back in 10-15 minutes, which is what I told her. She replied with, “ok I’ll call back in 15 minutes to cater to his needs.” Someone’s got their sassy pants on today.

P.S. If you’ve got some time on your hands then you should watch this video and let me know if you think it’s funny, because I’m thinking about doing a vlog and need some opinions. It’s a lot longer than what the daily videos would be, but I just need to know if it’s something you would watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwR6gPExjvU

Random Thoughts of the Week: August 3rd-8th

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  • There was a man who was talking on his phone loud enough that even a partially deaf person would have found it disturbing. Sir, there’s a microphone that will pick up your voice; it’s not like you’re trying to use one of those little devices with two cans and a string.

  • We have to listen to the same 5 clips from songs, not even entire songs, on a 5 minute loop at work; right now we have a song that’s got a 70s vibe and is one of many from an entire album about the life of a dog. Seriously, I can’t make this shit up.

  • I was telling a story about how my neighbor’s cat tore up my hood and my coworker said, “like your neighborhood?”

  • We have a rewards program at my work and people can link their email with their card. One lady’s email was bragging.rights@blah blab blah.com… Here’s a little tip, don’t put your stupid ass email address onto an account that other people are going to see.

  • I hate working with smokers! Do they really need to take a smoke break every hour? I’ll continue working while you go coat yourself in the essence of cancer.

  • At least 50 times a day, I have to make the extremely hard decision of whether I should make a sarcastic comment or not.

  • If you haven’t been watching the Olympics then you’ve been missing out on some quality stuff. The commentators have really gotten into it this year and seem to stop thinking before they speak. Let me give you some examples, “Wow he just really couldn’t get it up.” “Can he jerk it?” “Wow, she’s really riding her.” “They need to penetrate.” NBC took it a step further and have shown more than a few wardrobe malfunctions; I’ve seen more than one person’s ass and during a women’s water polo game they went to the underwater camera and I saw an Australian woman’s boob. That leaves me with one question, Olympics or porn?

  • Do any of you have a person that you just can’t hold a conversation with? Where it’s like being sucked up into a hurricane of stupidity that you can’t escape?

  • So I told you guys two weeks ago that I was going to a Mary Kay party because my friend suckered me into it; well let me tell you, it wasn’t terrible. My only problem, besides having to participate, was this fucking lady who talked to us about “her experience with Mary Kay.” By “her experience with Mary Kay,” I really mean her stupid ass life story. She seriously just spent 20 minutes talking about how much money she makes, the fact that she’s on her 11th free pink cadillac, and how she used to not like people and hated her job as a teacher.

  • I told someone to have a good day and they said, “alright” like it was an order.

  • A girl I work with asked me if I would give her a hug. We’ve talked about this before and this is how it’d play out (I’d be the giraffe):

  • A coworker came in to see a movie and he had two people with him, and one of them said, “I’m his sister.” I said, “I don’t care.” I meant that I didn’t care that she was seeing a free movie; it didn’t come off that way. Oops.

  • I was selling tickets and this woman walked up, turned around and asked me if her butt was dirty. I told her it wasn’t…it was. She told me it was dirty because she’d been “riding bareback all night.” Hey now!

Random Thoughts of the Week: July 27th-August 2nd

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  • I know I talk about this a lot, but good lord do people not own mirrors? They’re barely wearing any clothes.

  • I wish people would get some thicker skin. Why are people so sensitive? Who cares if people insult you, why do you care what someone else thinks? Just say thank you, it always throws them off.

  • Am I the only person who finds zodiac signs fascinating. Like, when they describe the characteristics of a sign and they’re almost completely spot on. How the hell does that work? Why are people alike just because they were born in a certain range of days?

  • I was told by a customer that I was “having too much fun and need to do some work.” Apparently he can’t recognize my “I’m in hell” face.

  • I had a grandma ask me if Ted was for kids and I told her it was rated R. She then asked me if kids would understand it; understand the rated R content or the fact that talking teddy bears aren’t real? I must have looked confused because she asked me, “its about a teddy bear right?” What part of “It’s rated R” is confusing?

  • I asked an older woman how she was and she told me that a guy just tried to kill her. I started laughing and asked her if he really “tried” to kill her. She didn’t find it as amusing.

  • I saw a 40 something year old mother wearing a “keep calm and party on” shirt. I don’t think she realizes that taking naps and drinking wine on the weekends counts as “partying.”

  • I told a girl, probably 17 or 18, that her movie was on her right and she held up her fingers to know which direction to go.

  • Why are car dealership commercials so annoying? “Are you thinking about buying a new car blah blah blah?” I’ll go buy a car from you just to run you over with it.

  • It’s senior day on Tuesdays and I had a kid come up and say, “I need one ticket for Batman and I’m a senior in high school so a senior ticket.” I told him that it was for seniors and he said, “yeah, I’m a senior.” I tried to clarify that it was for old people and he was still looking at me like I was explaining nuclear physics. My last try before I slapped him was, “it’s for people 60 and older.” Ding ding ding we have a winner! “Oh, like senior citizens?”

Don’t Let Irrationality Be A Life Sentence

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I’ve been avoiding writing this post because I get worked up just thinking about it, which is probably irrational. Oh the irony! Bear with me while I go on a rant.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, or actually know me, then you’ll know that I work at a movie theatre. Needless to say, the shooting in Colorado was a topic for some of the people I had to deal with the week after it happened. The problem I have with those people, and people in general, is how irrational they are. I had one specific interaction that left me really pissed off, which is what I want to share with you.

I was working on a Thursday night and I had a man come up to me and tell me that he just got done watching Batman and that he saw a man walk in with a “large shoulder bag.” He told me he was afraid the whole time he was watching his movie and he asked me why I would let him in here with a bag. I explained to him that I can’t legally check someone’s bag and that we, as a company, don’t have a policy on not bringing bags into the building. He told me that that was ridiculous and that it was illogical, given everything that’s happened; with that, he walked away shaking his head. I’m going to break this down step by step for you and tell you what I wanted to say, because I wanted to go off on this guy. However, that would be frowned upon by my boss.

  1. First of all, there was no guy with a “large shoulder bag;” there was a man with a little satchel that was hanging off his shoulder, but it was smaller than a fanny pack.
  2. You’re going to stand there and tell me all about how illogical it is that I would let him in, when your illogical and irrational ass is going to sit through an entire movie thinking someone might shoot you?
  3. If we keep people from bringing in bags that means it has to be all bags, which means women can’t bring in purses and parents with young children or newborns can’t bring in bags with items they may need for them. (i.e. diaper bags) You try telling a woman she can’t bring her purse in, because I sure as hell don’t want to be the person to do that.
  4. If you had read the story then you would know that the shooter didn’t bring a bag in with him; he bought a ticket and then left out an exit door, which he left propped open, to get his guns and came back in through that door. In that case, there was no bag to check.
  5. Which brings me to the biggest point I would have thrown in this guys face! Had I checked his bag, or told him that he couldn’t bring it in, and he was intent on shooting people, I would have been the first person to be shot in the face. Then he would have continued on and probably still ended up shooting this mother fucker who found it necessary to complain to me about something that I wouldn’t have been able to stop in the first place.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be outraged or saddened by what happened, but to produce an irrational fear because of it is ludicrous! If you do that, then eventually it’s going to snowball to where your only option is being agoraphobic. Seriously, you’re going to fear going to a movie because you might be shot; what’s next? Are you going to stop driving your car because there are car accidents? Car accidents are the leading cause of death for people of the ages 5-34, and yet you still drive everywhere. If you stopped driving, then you’d probably take up biking or walking; you’re chance of being hit by a car would probably still be higher than that of you being shot. How about your kids? There have been more than a few shootings at schools; are you going to keep them out of school?

Violent and tragic things are going to happen, and to be honest with you, there is no way to stop them. Don’t ever be afraid of something that might happen, it won’t get you anywhere in life. Maybe it will save you from death, but it will also keep you from truly living your life. Isn’t that just a really drawn out death?

“Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.”
― Bertrand Russell