Random Thoughts of the Week: May 2nd-8th

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  • Please tell me you’ve seen that Target commercial where the guy just drops the card on the 5 story card tower and just destroys the fucking thing. I mean really, what kind of monster does that shit?

Fucking Asshole

  • How about the Swiffer commercial where the son is the messiest fucking person ever and the mom just laughs it off? “Oh hahaha, my son doesn’t know how to clean up after himself.” Lady, did you see all the food on the ground? Your son doesn’t know how to eat either. What kind of animal are you raising?

Oh come on.

  • There’s an infomercial for a blender, where the guy is doing a demonstration for a bunch of people, and some of them were taking notes. What in the fuck could they possibly be writing down? Put fruit in, turn on blender?

That Is Stupid

  • I love when people tell me that my name is spelled wrong. I told someone my last name was spelled with an H and someone honestly said, “no it’s not.” Shit, I’ve been wrong for over 20 years?

Shocking...

  • Any time I go somewhere in my uniform for work, usually a gas station, at least one person will verify where I work and then proceed to tell me about the time that they did time. Ok cool, you’re an “alleged” criminal.

This is a fun conversation

  • There was a QT advertising beer and wine to go…as opposed to sitting in the gas station and drinking it?

Shocked and speechless

  • Inmates calling my name from the bathroom never bodes well for me, because it usually turns into a will-you-take-a-look-at-this-for-me situation. Which means they usually whip out a body part.

guh!

  • There are multiple construction sites with mannequin dudes made out of those orange barrels. Seriously, one of these things was hanging from a crane. Clearly those gentlemen are hard at work on the roads…taxes well spent.

Oh, riigght

  • This is going to sound terrible, but working in a jail makes me feel smart. Mainly because they always ask me questions that I always know the answers to.

School

  • Let me tell you, the ice cream truck jingle gets a little old after it plays for 5 minutes straight.

No, No, Make It Stop

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