Random Thoughts of the Week: April 11th-17th

  • I sometimes wonder how long I’m going to keep doing this blog…I’m probably gonna be 60 and still bitching about how confused I am by stupid people.

Not making any sense

  • The electronic billboard for my bank says, “ask us about our gift cards!” Why in the fuck would I buy a gift card from a bank? What the hell do you even spend money on at a bank, checks? What a great gift…”here’s a gift card to your bank, now go buy some checks and make one out to me.”

They're crazy

  • I saw a pack of playing cards that were the size of note cards, literally 3×5. Why would anyone need cards that big? I don’t care how terrible your vision is, that is excessive. I would never make it through any kind of game; I was laughing hysterically just looking at them.

Hysterical Laughing

  • Peanut M&Ms have a warning on the bag that says, “may contain almonds.” So what happens if you have an allergy to almonds, but really want some Peanut M&Ms? Do you just have to risk it and hope it’s worth it?

IIII Don't Know

  • Someone created an old school handset that plugs into an iPhone. I don’t know why? Their big selling point is, “convert your ordinary smartphone into an old school telephone!” Yeah, put your iphone in your pocket and walk around talking into a handset instead…who doesn’t enjoy looking like an idiot? You might as well get a brick phone from the 80s.

Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard

  •  Rain was hitting my window, but it sounded like someone was digging through a plastic bag. So I was lying in bed, I don’t know, assuming it could be a thief who decided to use Walmart bags to carry whatever it was he was stealing….that was my only explanation for the noise, there was no other possibility.

Britney Obviously

  • There was a commercial for catheters that advertised them as being “able to fit in a woman’s purse or a man’s pocket.” Why is that even a thing that you’re mentioning as a way to sell them? Are they doing that shit in a public restroom?

Chloe-what the fuck?

  • Every single day at work, at least once a day (more like 10 times a day), I’ll hear, “You smell really good! What are you wearing?” They will literally walk up to me and sniff me. I guess that’s what being locked in a room 24/7, with 30+ other people, for weeks on end will do to you.

Go Away..

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