- I heard a grown ass woman refer to God as “Daddy.” She literally said, “It’ll be fine, I’ve got Daddy on my side.” It was weird.
- I have to deal with a couple of prostitutes at work, and they literally smell like fish. You know, people always joke about vagina smelling like fish, but these ladies’ vagina’s actually do smell like straight up fish.
- Anyone who drives 10 under on the highway should not be driving on the highway. Honestly, the access roads usually have a speed limit of 50 so stay on those.
- You want to know what creates trust issues? People putting on their blinker as they approach where you’re going to pull out of, and then not turning. Bitch, I could’ve pulled out in front of you, assuming you were turning (because your freaking blinker is indicating that that’s what you’re doing), and then you’d hit me.
- You can always count on mothers to like every single thing you post on social media. Without fail, no matter what you post, your mother will like or comment on it. I could post a picture of a blank white wall and my mom’s probably gonna try and be supportive by saying, “You’re so artistic.” It’d be a nice try.
- Who was the person who decided to do the whole loop thing with laces? Why not just tie them in regular knots and be done with it?
- I was driving behind a person who had a stuffed animal hung from their bumper.
- I heard a woman say, “I’m not a racist, but I could kill a Mexican.” Uhh no, I’m pretty sure you’re a racist.