Random Thoughts of the Week: March 28th-April 3rd

Standard
  • I can’t believe people willingly drive behind semis that are loaded down with lots of heavy shit that could fall off and kill them.  Hasn’t anyone seen Final Destination?

Final destination death

  • Two dudes pulled up to a drive-thru window and decided to spend way too long digging under their seats for change. They literally paid with a single dollar bill and two handfuls of coins.

Goooo fuck yourself

  • Do you think it’s weird that we can whistle different tones? Like, we’re literally just blowing air through our mouths, but with the slightest change we can make the air sound completely different? No, you’ve never thought about it? So…just me then?

Just Me

  •  There’s no way that advertising a business by putting a dancing person on the side of the road with a sign brings in enough business for them to even cover the cost of paying those fools.

Nope...(Headshake)

  • A dude drove down the highway for more than 20 minutes with his caution lights on. What is the point? Either get off at one of the 50 exits you passed, or turn off your caution lights! Your car is clearly not breaking down any time soon, ya dickhead! Other people’s lack of basic driving skills is going to drive me insane (no pun intended).

Lose my shit

  • I was driving home from work and saw an elderly couple going into Whataburger at 11:30 at night. There must have been a rave going on at the senior center; that, or bingo got a little out of hand.

Old people dancing

  • My sister forgot to leave her money for the rent/bills on the kitchen table, and told me that she wouldn’t have time to come by the house at any time this week. Her reasoning was that even though she’s works 10 minutes away from our house, it would take 45 minutes with the traffic. So, she decided that the solution would be for me to meet her near her work, which meant I had the joy of sitting in all the traffic.

Bitch!

  • “Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof…” Those are lyrics from Happy by Pharrell, and I don’t know what that means. I’m gonna need a very detailed description for why I have no roof, and what exactly the weather conditions are. Though I’m sure, no matter what the explanation is, “happy” would not be the emotion I feel when I “feel like a room without a roof.”

Confused clapping

 

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