Random Thoughts of the Week: March 21st-27th

  • I had two charlie horses, not even a minute apart, in the same calf! I seriously considered just chopping it off.

Everything hurts and I'm dying

  • Let me tell you something, it doesn’t matter how many times I watch the movie Step Mom, I bawl my eyes out every.single.time.


  • When I see two cars parked next to each other, in an empty parking lot, late at night, with one or both cars running, I definitely assume something suspicious is happening.

I'm onto you


  • On that note, I saw three minivans parked next to each other, in an empty parking lot, all running, and the only logical explanation for that one would be a traveling soccer mom convention. Not so suspicious.


  • Some guy, that I had two classes with in college two years ago, randomly texted me, “God’s not dead!”

Uhh...not quite

  • I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said, “don’t worry, your daughter’s in good hands.” So he already seems like a douche bag, but he also had a thing around his license plate that said, “I love hooters!” Ladies, this one seems like a real catch!

Thumbs Down


  • I saw an ambulance responding to an emergency at a sex shop. Seems like someone got a little too excited.

Evil smile

  • I can’t even explain to you how frustrating my job can be. It’s babysitting, but instead of children, they’re “alleged” criminals who could potentially harm me at any moment.

Lopsided shrug


  • I saw a sticker on a bridge that said, “foreskin is not a birth defect!”

Alrighty Then

  • Apparently, a friend of the pilot of the missing plane is telling people that the pilot was “having a rough time,” and implied that he was taking “one last joyride.” Uhh you would think he wouldn’t take 200 other people with him, because he was depressed about his love life. He even said that the pilot was plotting it out on his flight simulator. As if the guy needed a flight plan for where to crash; I’m pretty sure he could crash into a massive ocean without having an x on a map.

You're Not Just Wrong You're Stupid

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