Random Thoughts of the Week: March 14th-20th

Standard

•There’s an allergy medication ad that says, “it’s bad when people can recognize you by your sneeze…” *a woman sneezes* and a kid says, “mom’s home.” Obviously it’s your mom, who-the-fuck-else is it going to be? A murderer certainly isn’t just gonna walk in your front door, middle of the day, sneezing.

Really? Come on.•So the Backstreet Boys announced that they are going on tour with Avril Lavigne this year. Someone told them it’s 2014, right?

It's important to me that you know that

•How are kernel and colonel pronounced the exact same way? Where is the logic?!

I Don't Get It•Have I mentioned how much I can’t stand people who get into the 20 items or less line with a number of items that is clearly more than 20?

Fuck You, You Fucking Fucker•The security guard at Walmart almost backed into me with his car. I literally had to put my hand on his car and push myself back and around to keep him from hitting me.

I'm walking here!

•There was an ad on TV for a senior living referral company called A Place for Mom… So if you’re trying to take care of your old and dying dad you’re shit out of luck!

JLaw grumpy cat face

•On the science channel, there was a show called How Small is the Universe?, which was followed immediately by a show called How Big is the Universe? Which is it, is it small or is it large?

Huh•You know how there are slang terms for all the weird sexual acts? I can’t decide which is worse, the person coming up with the terms or the person who was obviously the first to try them.

Nope...(Headshake)

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