Random Thoughts of the Week: February 14th-20th

Standard

•I don’t even have to put my trashcan by the road anymore, the garbage man just takes it no matter what.

Daww

•Do women still get all pissy when you use the wrong title? Like, I remember when I would call someone Miss instead of Misses and they’d be all, “umm I’m married, it’s Mrs. Blah Blah…”

Bring It Down A Notch, No One Cares•I love when people say, “I’m not gonna come back to (insert the name of the business you work for)…I’ll go to (insert competitors’ name)” expecting me to bend over backwards to keep them coming back.

Like I give a fuck•One of my supervisors told a girl I work with that everyone hated her.

Bitch!•A guy I work with goes by the nickname Colonel Sanders, and one of the girls I work with came in one night and said to a group of us, “did you guys know there was actually a guy named colonel sanders? I heard his name on a video and I was like, ‘I know a guy named colonel sanders.'”

Everyone I work with is an idiot... And by sometimes, I mean all times All the time Every of the time

•Apparently one of the new kids at work asked someone, “what do you think about plowing coworkers?”

How Dare You

  • Number two, are you a fucking farmer? Why the hell are you using the term plowing?

Sit in the Corner

•Some woman had to go to the restroom while my coworker was helping her and the woman asked, “can you hold my baby?” The woman literally handed her the baby over the counter and my coworker is just holding the baby and working the till.

What Is Happening•We had a technician come out to work on some of our equipment at work and before the guy even starts he asks, “do you know what’s wrong with it?” Uhh isn’t that your job? Is that not why we’re paying you? How the fuck should we know what’s wrong with it?

Agh•A girl I work with was asking me if I wanted some of her lotion and she said, “it’s country chick.” Chic, it was Country Chic.

School•A guy called up to my work complaining about the prices saying, “your prices are ridiculous! I never would’ve paid that much to see a movie if it wasn’t Valentine’s Day and a movie that my girlfriend/wife wanted to see.” Wow, what a sweetheart! He really went out of his cheap ass ways to treat his girlfriend/wife to a special night. Girlfriend needs to get out of that situation as soon as possible. Seriously, run!

Run!

•We were talking about the movie Parent Trap at work and one of the kids I work with said, “we did that to my dad’s girlfriends once…” and I was so confused that I just stood there for a minute or two trying to decide what he meant. Like, did he find out he had a twin at a summer camp, did he switch places with his twin that he just found out about, did he tell the girlfriend that there were cougars in the woods and to bang sticks together to get them to go away, or maybe they drugged her and put her in the middle of a lake on an air mattress? There were so many possible things that he could have been talking about.

WHAAAAAT?

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