Random Thoughts of the Week: January 31st-February 6th

  • I was at a bar and there was a group of three old ladies just sitting together, checking out every guy in the bar, and making comments out loud to each other. “Well doesn’t he have a cute butt…” “Aww he’s a cutie!”

No and Headshake

  • I hate when people come up to me while they’re smoking. Put that thing out and stop blowing your nasty ass smoke in my face!

I hate smokers

  • I went to a soccer game over the weekend and in the process of finding a place to park I also found a group of real assholes. There was an open parking space that I wanted to park in, but the dick head in the spot next to it had his car doors open while him and his friends were just standing in it talking. I had to yell “excuse me, can I park there?” three times until they finally realized that maybe someone wanted to fucking park in an open parking space for a sold out game!

Asshole day

  • As we were walking by the previously mentioned assholes, one of the girls, who was probably 14, said, “…those bitches.” Whether directed towards me or not, why is that child talking like that, and why are the adults she’s standing next to not telling her to knock it the fuck off?

I Mean Seriously

  • At that same game, there was a woman who tried to start the wave for the entire hour and a half game. Literally, she yelled “1,2,3” at least 20 times and never once got more than 20 people to even attempt the wave. Then kept complaining about how no one would do the wave.

Bitch, Shut Up

  • Let me tell you something, being the only liberal-minded person out of almost all the people you know is an unfortunate situation. For example, Coke’s Superbowl ad came on, ya know the on where they had a bunch of kids sing America the Beautiful in different languages, everyone in the room started talking about how people in America should speak English…and I’m just sitting there trying to stifle the groan that wants to come out of my mouth.

Pillow Over Face

  • A woman pulled out an iPhone, turned to her grand kid, who looked to be about 7, and asked, “is your phone volume turned down?” He said, “yeah, it’s on mute.” An iPhone? Why does that kid need an iPhone? What important business calls is this kid expecting that he can’t use the phone of whatever adult he’s with at the time?

I Don't Get It At All

  • I passed a business called Condoms To Go. As opposed to what, Condoms To Stay? Do they think if they leave the “to go” out of the name that people will assume they can stay and use the condoms they just purchased?


  • I had to take a polygraph for a job I’m hoping to get, and let me tell you something, I was paranoid as shit. I haven’t done anything crazy or unlawful in all of my 23 years, but the process of getting hooked up to a computer and asked random questions about your life is nerve wracking. Hell, I think even a nun would be paranoid when taking a polygraph.

I'm having an anxiety attack

  • I once got a ticket because I was so caught up in singing “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston at the top of my lungs that I didn’t realize I was speeding.


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