Random Thoughts of the Week: December 27th-January 2nd

Standard
  • I was at a Walmart in Missouri and they had a display specifically for Jagermeister and Redbull. Really Missouri? You guys are ridiculous.

So Fucking Classy

  • My parents actually had this conversation: Stepdad: He looked wiped out! Mom: Well he takes the Xanax, ya know! Stepdad: That doesn’t have anything to do with combing his hair!

I don't know *shrug*

  • I’m honestly stunned that there are people in this world who don’t like game night.

What The Fuck's Wrong With You

  • Cox runs an ad that says, “choose cox for the speed you need!” The jokes write themselves.

Paper Toss

  • My brother ends every phone call we have by saying, “JFred out!”

Why?

  • While driving through a parking lot, I saw two kids get out of the back seats of a parked car and get into the front seats while adjusting their clothes.

Wink

  • A restaurant had a sign saying they would be closed on New Years for their employees. I know what’s really going on there.What they’re really saying is that they doubt their staff would show up, and even if they did they’d be hungover and completely useless.

I'm onto you

  • Does anyone else find it weird that Cindy Crawford’s career is now creating her own furniture line and doing Rooms-to-Go ads? You know what I’m sayin’? No, just me? Alright.

Left hanging

  • I was driving back from visiting my parents when I saw a loaf of bread on the highway, which I thought was pretty weird. The mystery was solved about a mile later when I passed a lady with an entire truck bed full of loaves of bread. What she could possibly be doing with at least a hundred loaves of bread is beyond me.

Speechless

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