- I was at a Walmart in Missouri and they had a display specifically for Jagermeister and Redbull. Really Missouri? You guys are ridiculous.
- My parents actually had this conversation: Stepdad: He looked wiped out! Mom: Well he takes the Xanax, ya know! Stepdad: That doesn’t have anything to do with combing his hair!
- I’m honestly stunned that there are people in this world who don’t like game night.
- Cox runs an ad that says, “choose cox for the speed you need!” The jokes write themselves.
- My brother ends every phone call we have by saying, “JFred out!”
- While driving through a parking lot, I saw two kids get out of the back seats of a parked car and get into the front seats while adjusting their clothes.
- A restaurant had a sign saying they would be closed on New Years for their employees. I know what’s really going on there.What they’re really saying is that they doubt their staff would show up, and even if they did they’d be hungover and completely useless.
- Does anyone else find it weird that Cindy Crawford’s career is now creating her own furniture line and doing Rooms-to-Go ads? You know what I’m sayin’? No, just me? Alright.
- I was driving back from visiting my parents when I saw a loaf of bread on the highway, which I thought was pretty weird. The mystery was solved about a mile later when I passed a lady with an entire truck bed full of loaves of bread. What she could possibly be doing with at least a hundred loaves of bread is beyond me.