Random Thoughts of the Week: December 6th-12th

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  • Did you guys watch the VS Fashion Show the other night? There was one model who looked like she was wearing those bright yellow cleaning gloves.

Dancing model

  • I hate when kids squeak their wet shoes on tile.

Youths!

  • Texans have to be the most dramatic people ever when it comes to weather. I mean, it had just started to sleet and one of the reporters was saying, “if you look here you can see how bad it’s getting.” The sleet was literally just blowing across the ground.

Bring It Down A Notch, No One Cares

  • My sister drove home from work early and said the roads were really bad from the ice. She then proceeded to get ready and then get back on the roads to drive to her boyfriend’s place, because that makes sense.Chloe-what the fuck?
  • I’ve found that driving in icy conditions can turn some people into real dicks. Like, we’ve got just two tire tracks that are free of ice and “safe” to drive on, but apparently some people are in more of a hurry to get places than everyone else; their solution, after riding my ass isn’t getting them anywhere, is to get into the lane covered in more than a couple inches of solid ice and go 50mph. With people like that on the roads, I decided that we should forever refer to this past week as Assholes on Ice. For all you assholes, who drive like maniacs:

Fuck Off Repeatedly

  • With the aforementioned weather, came a million calls asking if we were open at work. I shit you not, every minute someone called saying, “I was just wondering if you guys were open…” Whelp, I’m sure as shit answering the phone so I’d say it’s a good bet that we are. “Well your website says..” Yes thank you, I’m fucking aware of what the website says.

I will punch you in the throat

  • I had a kid ask what Delivery Man was about, and I didn’t know if I was supposed to tell the child that it’s about a guy who has 500 kids because he donated his sperm 600 times.

Awkward interaction

  • There’s a sign near a shopping center that says, “don’t leave anything in your car!” That seems more than a little dramatic. Should I be taking my empty water bottle with me into the store?

What No Stop

  • Do you guys ever get excited about pens? Like when you have to sign the check at a restaurant and the waiter/waitress gives you a nice pen to use, and then you consider stealing it? I know you know what I mean, and I know it happens to you too.

Just Sayin

  • My brother was excited about $10 off of his Old Navy purchase so he clapped, rather loudly, and the woman ringing him up said, also rather loudly, ” well hot dog!” I think she was surprised by the fact that she said that out loud, because she covered her mouth and looked away.

Haverford Face

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