Random Thoughts of the Week: September 13th-19th

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  • I’ve discovered that I don’t enjoy groups of people all trying to clap to the same beat. It never works out, because everyone gets out of time after two claps.

I...don't know

  • On that note, the guy standing behind me at the Fun. concert clapped on off beats for the entire concert! Even when everyone is clapping on every beat, he would be clapping on only the 1st and 3rd beat. Like, my dude, get your shit together because it’s really fucking distracting and annoying!

Stop It

  • You know when you’re opening a door and you can’t decide whether or not to hold it for the person behind you? Like, they’re kind of far away, but just close enough that you would feel bad about not holding it open. I feel that same way about yellow lights…I’ll be at a distance that makes me have a moment of indecision. Do I floor it and hope I make the light or do I slam on my breaks and hope the person behind me doesn’t slam into me?

IIII Don't Know

  • I hate when I know there is a hair somewhere on my person, but I can’t see it.

Cobweb Freakout

  • When I unlock my car, the headlights flash a few times and a family was walking in front of my car when it happened one night. They looked like they were afraid I was about to kidnap them.

Looking scared

  • A woman had a card on her keychain that I needed to swipe, unfortunately that keychain was attached to her purse in the form of a fucking lanyard that was knotted to it. Her attempt at fitting her purse in the little window didn’t really work, and neither did her attempt at trying to make the lanyard stretch far enough for me to swipe the card. Clearly not the brightest person I’ve ever dealt with.

Missed it

  • There was a guy driving like a madman on the highway, but thankfully he had his caution lights on. While normally caution lights are used for people broken down on the side of the road, I guess they could also be used to let everyone know, “hey I’m an impatient asshole and I drive like a crazy motherfucker!” Get off the road asshole!

You are a major dick

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