Random Thoughts of the Week: August 2nd-8th

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  • My sister was on the phone with a customer service guy who asked her to spell her name for him, and she says, “K as in cat.” I mean she knows someone named Kat, but the guy on the other end was probably confused as hell.

Confused Isles

  • Have you ever wondered about people who work in adult video stores? Not only do they probably work alone all the time, but they’re just surrounded by porn. Those two things have an outcome I’d rather not think about.

Disney No!

  • If I wasn’t already terrified of the ocean, watching a show about megalodon, a shark that’s over 60 feet long and supposedly took out a boat, definitely did it for me. Seriously, the documentary on megalodon freaked me the fuck out. I could’ve done without ever knowing about that fucker.

Kristen Wiig Freak Out

  • The cashier at Walmart decided to share with me how much she hates her job.

Do I Look Like I Care?

  • I hate telling someone their card is denied.

That Was Awkward

  • Life tip: if you’re buying something from someone (in a retail atmosphere) pay attention to the person helping you! It’s fucking annoying waiting for you to realize that I’m trying to hand you your shit and you’re dicking around with your friends.

Yelling Dwight

  • Oh and I know you and your gaggle of giggling friends are all seeing the same movie, you don’t all need to tell me. Just give me your money and shut up.

I Despise Children There. I've Said It.

  • We kicked a girl out for sneaking into a rated-R movie and she asked, “why is everyone so rude here?” You want to know why?

I Can't Entertain Ignorance

  • I had a child come up to me and ask me, what seemed like, 500 questions. “What’s your name?” “How long have you worked here?” “How old are you?” “When’s your birthday?” Jesus, is this the Spanish Inquisition?

You Need to Cool It

  • My brother walked up to the house next door to mine under the impression that he was walking up to my house. What do you think he did? He tried turning the door knob, it was locked, so he covered the eye hole and rung the doorbell. Finally, my neighbor opened the door probably thinking someone was there to kill her.

Not Great..

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