- A girl, no more than 10 years old , put her bloody tooth on the counter at my work and said, “I need a bag for this.” Listen little girl, I am not the tooth fairy and I don’t want anything to do with your nasty tooth!
- We told a guy he couldn’t bring in his coffee and he dumped it on the floor as he walked outside.
- So security at the Texas capitol was confiscating tampons during the session over the abortion bill…but guns were allowed. Makes perfect sense to me.
- I was waiting for my movie to start and a little girl, probably 8, said, “I need my phone, because I can’t stare at this (blank screen) for 40 minutes.” Fucking kids these days…
- We ordered pizza at work and I got to thinking about Canadian bacon. Do they just call it bacon in Canada or…?
- I’m sure I’ve mentioned that we have our favorite movie listed on our name tags at work, right? Well one of the guys I work with tweeted about how someone told him he wasn’t old enough to know what that movie was, in reference to his favorite movie. I thought to myself, “jeez what a stupid thing to say.” Of course, one week later, the same thing happens to me. I recently changed my favorite movie to The Breakfast Club, so no one would ever again ask me if my name was Blood Diamond, and some guy told me that I’m too young to know about that movie. Dude, it came out in the 80s, it plays on TV all the time, oh and there’s this thing called a DVD, which means I can watch it any time I want! Isn’t that crazy? Who knew someone could watch a movie that was made over 2 decades ago?!
- I had a job interview at a police station and as I was waiting, a woman was talking to an officer in a conference room that had the door open. At first, I didn’t really think anything of it and then he started yelling at her and all I could think was, “this is probably the most relaxing setting to be in.”
- You know those rolls of gum that come in the plastic container? Well I shit you not, my sister eats that shit like it’s any other food. She just chews it up a little bit and then swallows it and proceeds until she eats the whole roll within 5 minutes.
- There was a guy at Walmart that had music playing from his phone, sitting in his shirt pocket, while he was deciding on which hair growth product he wanted to buy.