Random Thoughts of the Week: June 14th-20th

  • As promised, the tale of the Health Inspection meeting. First, the woman walks up and she’s rocking an eye patch. Now, of course that’s sad, but unfortunately my reaction was to say to all my coworkers, “now kids, if you don’t follow health code that’s what’s gonna happen to you.” Then, she starts talking to us and, my god, does that woman have an annoying voice. She couldn’t get her remote to work so she kept flipping through too many slides, and then would go back too many; it was just a constant back and forth for the entire hour and a half we were with her. At one point, she made a connection between gloves and condoms…It was a complete cluster fuck, to say the least.

What is Happening?!

  • Apparently one of my former coworkers has a dream of becoming a playboy bunny.

Whoa! Dream Big!

  • There’s a Chicago Blackhawks player with the last name Oduya, pronounced oh-do-ya. I mean, come on; he had to have gotten a lot of shit for that.

Franco Chuckle

  • At work, I had a guy ask if someone could help him at guest services and I told him they’d be there in a minute. After, not even, 15 seconds he turns to me and says, “is there anyone coming?!” right as my manager was walking towards him.

Fucking Asshole

  • My knuckles were scabbed and my mom asked, “we’re you playing a game, that bloody knuckles game?” What am I, 12? Come on Mom.

Confused Batman

  • I asked a kid how he was and he said, “tired, and I don’t feel well on my birthday.”

Bring It Down A Notch, No One Cares

  • A dad called my work and asked if we had found his daughter’s tooth.

Ugh. What?

  • The ladies competing for Miss USA were apparently all in their early 20’s, but I’ve carded a 30 year old who looked younger than them.

You Look Ridiculous

  • I made a girl I work with cry. Maybe she’s learned not to tell me how to do my job…considering she’s, like, 12 and worked there for 4 months, while I’m 22 and worked there for 4 years. Yeah, no thanks.

Nah Ah Ah

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