Random Thoughts of the Week: June 7th-13th

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  • There’s seriously a dating website for people looking for farmers, ranchers, cowboy/girl, and animal lovers, it’s aptly named Farmers Only.

Double Confusion

  • Is anyone else sick of the fucking Waxvac infomercial? How are these people using the q-tips? Are they hulk smashing them into their eardrum? I guess it wouldn’t be an infomercial if it wasn’t extremely dramatic.

Q-tip Infomercial

  • I was checking IDs and a girl who had to come with her mom was leaving to get food so she asked if we’d remember her. We said we would and she said, “of course you will. How could you forget a face like this?” *giggle* *giggle*So when she comes back she asks, “do you remember me?” I told her I did because *cue an impersonation of her airhead personality*; as she was walking by she told her friends, “at least I’m rememberable.” 1) Rememberable? Really? 2) That’s not a good thing to be remembered for.

That's Not Working

  • Add to the list-of-skills-I-don’t-have: snake charming. The snake in my house was 6 inches long and the best I could do was throw a Tupperware container over it. Then!, when I tried to get him out of the house (by putting a piece of paper under the Tupperware to carry it all out) he kept getting his head out and then I’d just freak out and squash his neck for a while until I was ballsy enough to lift the container up a little and put it all the way over him again. Seriously, that routine happened at least 5 times. I got him out eventually though.

Too Legit To Quit

  • A lady was upset that she was being carded and used the excuse, “this is a free country, I don’t need to carry an ID!”

Amy Poehler Really?

  • I was looking for jobs and there was a posting for, I shit you not, a person to teach “writting.” You would think “oh just a simple typo”, but they had it written 3 times…all spelled writting. Would I be teaching the person who posted the job how to write or were they posting it on behalf of someone else?

McFly Confused

  • I wonder if Will Smith has ever listened to or walked in on his other children listening to Just the Two of Us, realized that everyone knows he has a favorite kid, and thought to himself:

I've Made a Huge Tiny Mistake

  • I had a quarter-life crisis yesterday and when I told my friend that, she laughed. Maybe she thought I was trying to be funny, or maybe she just thought the term quarter-life crisis was amusing…but I was seriously having a mental breakdown. For hours, this was literally what I looked like:

Sobbing

 

  • Using eye drops is seriously an art form, one that I have yet to master. The odds of me actually get it in my eye is probably 1 time out of 5.

It Isn't Fair

 

  • Stay tuned next week for the tale of the Health Inspector’s meeting we had to attend for work.

Kill Me

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