Random Thoughts of the Week: April 12th-18th

Standard
  • To the people who think their problems should be your problems:

Get Over Yourself

  • There was a guy driving like a mad man around me. He was on my ass and then he turned into where I was going; I was certain he was gonna get out and try and kill me once I parked. As you can tell from reading this, that didn’t happen. It was a close one.

Whew

  • Can we talk about Harrison Ford’s eyebrows in 42? They were like pillows; if he laid face down to sleep, his eyebrows would keep his face lofted high enough so that he wouldn’t suffocate.

Harrison Ford Eyebrows

What Is Happening

  • At work, a woman wanted to change her tickets to see a different movie because there were a bunch of kids going to see the first one she chose. We have to give a reason for refunds and I so badly wanted to put, “hates children.”

Just Sayin

  • The kids who yelled, “hey Easter bunny!” at me last weekend did it again this weekend. However, now they’ve just resorted to yelling “Easter bunny!” and pointing any time they see me. These kids don’t get it,

I Am The Enemy

  • I’m always amused when some who’s super annoying complains about someone else being annoying.

HAHAH Shut Up

  • If you work in the service/retail industry and still act like an asshole, especially while out in public…

Slow Flip Off

  • I’m always confused, although slightly amused, by the men who are so buff that they can’t put their arms down all the way to their sides. They look ridiculous!

You're Wearing That

  • I always get at least one person, but usually like 50 people, who always get extremely close to me when I’m working. You can stand a few feet away and I’ll still be able to help you, so

Back Off

  • A girl I work with is too nice for her own good. Seriously, she got suckered into going to prom with a guy she can’t stand because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying no. This same guy texts her constantly and won’t leave her alone because he likes her, but she won’t tell him that they’ll only ever be just friends. She’s over there all

Mean Girls Speech

  • My friend asked me why they straightened Jesse Eisenberg’s hair in the Now You See Me movie and I’m pretty sure it’s because no one would take him seriously with his curly hair.

Jesse Eisenberg Shrug

  • That moment when you hope a woman’s shitty attitude is just because it’s that time of month, but then you realize their period can’t possibly last all month.

Bitch Crazy

  • While in line to checkout at Walmart, the woman in front of me decided that since they were out of stock of the fan she wanted she’d just take the display and try to buy it. If you’re wondering how it turned out, it didn’t.

Are You An Idiot

  • I may be 22 years old, but give me some bubble wrap and I’ll be entertained for as long as it takes to pop it all.

I'm an Adult

  • A few minutes before we closed the building at work, my coworker started to leave (she had a closing shift) saying, “I’m gonna go now.” To which I said, “uhh when did you start running this place? We don’t close until 8:15.” Then she tried explaining that by her clock it was 8:15. Slow your roll bitch, we’re closed when they lock the doors and turn off the lights. Someone took Beyonce’s Run The World (Girls) song a little too literally.

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

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