Random Thoughts of the Week: April 5th-11th

Standard
  • To the one or two specific birds that always sit right outside my window and make their fucking noises: I’m going to buy a gun specifically to shoot you. I can’t sleep with you assholes being so noisy!

Pillow Over Face

  • I can’t decide if I’m more frustrated by people’s bouts of crazy, or more pleased because it makes me feel really fucking sane.

What Can I SayLoco

  • Two kids, who saw me as the bunny on Easter weekend, saw me working this past weekend and repeatedly yelled out, “hey, it’s the Easter Bunny!”

Kill Me

  • I got in my car after work on Friday night, and when I turned my headlights on there was a guy sitting and staring at me from the car parked in front of me.

Jack Shock

  • A girl I’m friends with on Facebook had the status, “if there are people on the side of the road picking up trash, and I throw trash out my window would it still be considered littering since they’ll be there to pick it up?” Huh, well if I run you over with my car in front of a cop is it still considered vehicular manslaughter?

Shut The Fuck Up

  • My eyebrow muscle/muscle of my eyebrow, whatever you want to call it, has been spasming for the past 5 days. Looks like my constant scowling is catching up with me.

Crazy Eyebrows

  • In the top 10 of the-things-I-find-awkward-list, which is an incredibly long list: when someone repeatedly tries to be funny/sarcastic and no one laughs.

Group Huh?

  • I’m pretty sure I almost made one of my coworkers cry last week, but if he’d stop being an idiot I wouldn’t feel the need to give him such a hard time. Seriously, just stop saying/doing stupid shit…it’s that easy.

No Patience For Stupidity

 

  • I like watching movies I watched as a kid now and seeing all the things that don’t make sense. For instance, I watched Jurassic Park last weekend, and I’ll never be able to watch it without questioning how long the boat trip for all the people who would visit Jurassic Park would be, why that girl wouldn’t turn off her flashlight, or how she reached that tub of ice cream when it was all the way on the other end of the table. Life’s biggest mysteries…

Side Eyed 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s