Random Thoughts of the Week: March 8th-14th

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  • I helped an old woman at work, and we were talking about how I was bored/doing the crosswords when she said, “if you think this is bad think about getting old and living in a nursing home, it’s terrible.” Old people make me sad.

Sad Baby

  • I like how all the older people I’m friends with on Facebook (my mom’s friends, family friends, relatives) are always so encouraging. Any time I post something sarcastic/negative, or anything really, they’re always there to provide something uplifting and yet completely unnecessary/embarrassing.

Please..Stop

  • I was wearing a jacket as I was leaving work and my supervisor walks over to me and says, “I know someone with that jacket…who gave you that jacket?” Uhh I bought it from a store. You know stores, the places where they sell many of the same item to different people.

You're an Idiot

  • I was watching The First 48, and a guy was killed on his birthday and they called the case Last Wish. There was another episode where a 14 year old got killed when she was celebrating her birthday and they called that case Birthday Girl. That’s pretty fucked up.

What the Hell is Wrong With You

  • Why are Mazda Miatas considered a man’s car? I see mostly men driving those cars, and if I see one I always assume a man is driving it. It doesn’t make sense to me.

I Don't Get It At All

  • Any time I see a curly headed ginger I always say the “hey there’s the girl from Brave” joke in my head. Seriously, every time.

Giggle Stop

  • A couple walked up to box office and asked my coworker if they were at The Rave. Guys, there are big ass letters on the outside of the building, and directly behind where my coworker was standing, that read AMC and every single thing you look at has AMC on it. It was literally staring them in the face.

Use Your Brain

  • A coworker, whom I cannot stand, would not stop talking to me throughout the entire 4 hours we worked together. She wasn’t picking up on my dear-god-stop-talking vibes and I didnt want to flat out say, “would you please shut the fuck up!” Apparently she told one of our other coworkers that I’m one of the few people who’s nice to her. She has a weird idea of what nice is, because I don’t even acknowledge the fact that she’s speaking and I certainly don’t engage in conversation with her. Why, you ask?

Set Myself on Fire

  • A family asked for five tickets to the 3D Oz, and I only had three glasses next to me so I gave them the three I had. Before I could grab the other two one of the girls said, “uhh we need more.” No fucking shit? This might surprise you, but I can count; why don’t you give me a fucking second. She said it twice before I finally said, “I know.” Then, as I’m grabbing the glasses, with their tickets and change in my hand, the mom asks her mom, “do you need change, mom?” Fucking hell people! I know what I’m doing. Jesus!

Fuck You Guys

  • I don’t really see any cars these days with the “my kid’s on the honor roll” bumper stickers. Is it because kids aren’t on the honor roll anymore? Do parents just not want to put shit on their car? Based off of the children I come in contact with, I’m going to say it’s the former. These are the things I think about while driving.

House Shrug

  • Worse than being woken up by the beeping noise that I talked about last week, is being woken up by a detective banging on my door because he’s under the impression that a guy who supposedly committed a hit-and-run lives at my address. My first thought:

It Wasn't Me

  • A couple of guys came by my house to try and sell me a vacuum that cost over $3,000. Nice try, assholes; A “vacuum with a fan made from nasa technology” isn’t really on my list of things I need to buy.

Psh Eye Roll

  • A girl I’ve worked with for over 2 years was wearing her watch on her right wrist and I asked her if she was left handed, because I could have sworn she was right handed. Her response? “Why, am I acting left handed?”

UHH

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