Random Thoughts of the Week: March 1st-7th

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  • •Let’s talk about the new M&M commercial, the one where he’s singing “I would do anything for love.” She’s biting him and he says, “it hurts, but I kind of like it.” So he’s an M&M who’s into S&M? Let’s not forget that the whole commercial is about him (the fact that I’m even calling a fucking m&m a him is ridiculous) being in love with her.

What Is Happening

  • More weird commercials: the Swiffer commercials where they’ve got household products falling in love with each other.

Just Weird

  • A woman I helped at work had a Hispanic accent when she was talking on her cell phone, but when she started talking to me she started using a super southern accent. I’m not sure if she thinks that that’s something she needs to do, if she’s crazy, or maybe she enjoys making fun of people with accents like that. Either way,

I Mean, What The Fuck

  • I hate when I let someone out in front of me and then they turn out to be terrible fucking drivers.

Regret

  • I was wearing an Arkansas Razorbacks sweatshirt when I went to see a movie, and a girl I work with asked me if that’s where I want to go. I know I look young, but…

Really

  • I was dead asleep when a fast, high pitched beeping started going off in my house; let me tell you, being startled awake is quite possibly one of the worst things ever.

Startled Awake

  • The Last Exorcism Part 2 came out recently, I guess they couldn’t exorcise the bitch the first time. Someone told me they set it up for another one. Are they just going to keep going until they finally release The Last Part of the Last Exorcism? These movies can’t be making any money; when was the last popular exorcism movie, the 70’s?How Dumb Are You
  • Any time someone tells me they like my favorite movie I thank them as if I was some how involved in making it.

Thank You

  • A kid I work with makes racist comments, but says he’s not racist and that he just says it to make people laugh.

You're So Funny

  • I was telling a coworker about a band I like and wanted him to listen to, and a guy standing near us asked, “are they any good?”

Nope, Huh Uh

  • I thought people calling me sweetheart, darling, hon, and dear was bad; some guy called me babe the other day. It was really fucking weird, he said it like he was talking to his girlfriend/wife…”Thanks, babe.” Yeah, don’t.

You're Making Me Uncomfortable

  • I’m watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory while writing this and the further I get into it the more creeped out I get. The Slugworth character, who we find out works for Will Wonka, is creepy as fuck; that scene on the boat when they go into the tunnel, and all go on an acid trip, was completely unnecessary. Don’t even get me started on the fucking kids in that movie; I would have punched all of them in the face. Violet chewing that gum drives me insane. Clearly, I’m a fan of the movie

Turtle Face

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