Random Thoughts of the Week: February 22nd-28th

Standard
  • A guy I work with, the same one last week who asked me to help him with his hangnail, was cleaning his ears with his key.

You Nasty

  • When we went to the bar, I was listening to a conversation that my friend was having with someone she went to high school with. The guy randomly starts talking about how he slept with a bunch of different women where he used to live and since he’s moved back he hasn’t slept with anyone. Does he wonder why?

Douchebag Jar

  • I was told that, when I met a friend of my friend’s, that the first thing I said was, “I like your blouse” in a sarcastic tone. While I wouldn’t doubt that I would say something like that at some point, I feel like that’s a little harsh for a first introduction…even for me.

I...don't know

  • At work they’re playing a song by a band called My Pet Dragon. You know they’re using that as a euphemism.

Penis

  • There was a girl at the bar on Saturday who was shit faced within 30 minutes of being there.

Pull Yourself Together

  • What do you know, Tyler Perry has two movies coming out this year and both have “Tyler Perry presents” in front of the title.

Fuck the Fuck Off

  • When I got to work there were 3 cops cars in front of the building. Turns out that two of my coworkers apparently saw a guy with a gun on his hip. When my manager asked him about it, instead of saying he didn’t have one (which is what he was claiming), he told her to call the cops. So the cops show up, and the guy and his wife get all kinds of pissy. The words “this white girl” were thrown out by the wife at some point and she also claimed that she didn’t feel safe coming to our theatre anymore. Right, we thought you had a gun because you’re black and not because you had a holster on your hip and you don’t feel safe when the whole point was to make sure someone didn’t have a gun in our establishment. All you had to do was show us you didn’t have a gun and that would have been the end of it, but you wanted to turn it into a race isssue and asked us to call the cops. Fuck off!unicorn
  • One of my friends from high school is looking at 15 years in prison (he’s yet to be sentenced, but has plead guilty and been convicted) for armed robbery of a Radio Shack and kidnapping because they tied up the employees. 1) I’m surprised they could even find a Radio Shack to rob and 2) if you ever find yourself thinking “my life isn’t going the way I planned” just think, at least you’re not in prison.

Hey

  • A woman wanted two tickets to Die Hard and when I told her it was $16 she said, “is that senior?” I told her seniors and adults were the same price before 4:00 and she told me, “I’m not paying $8 for a senior ticket” then walked away. Uhh ma’am what kind of discount are you expecting? You’re over 60 congratulations! I’m sure you remember when it used to cost $1 to see a movie, but that’s the economy for you; it costs more to make movies so we have to charge more to see them.

Get Over Yourself

  • Whenever someone asks me how old they look I try and get away from them without answering, because that’s a trap.

Ok I'm Gone

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