Random Thoughts of the Week: February 8th-14th (Ew Valentine’s Day)

  • So there’s a Geico commercial where it’s implied that a woman wants to have sex with the Geico pig. A few days later I saw one where a bridesmaid was flirting with the Geico gecko. Geico you need to stop.


  • I hate having multiple ideas, mainly for this blog, in a short span of time; I forget at least one of them. There are so many idiotic things happening around me that I can’t keep up. I’m going to have to start making voice memos because writing them down isn’t quick enough for me.

Three Shrugs

  • Every single person who came to the movies this week to see Identity Thief called it Identity Theft. Come on people it’s right there, you just have to read it. One lady called it The Witness, and I’m sure by the time it’s out of theaters I’ll have someone ask for “the movie with the lady from bridesmaids.”

Go Home

  • I made an older woman, probably 70 years old, laugh and she told me I was funny. I’ve decided that it’s more of an accomplishment when the person is older. I’m not sure why, maybe because they’ve experienced a lot of funny things/people which would mean I’m up against some tough competition or because a lot of old people are just plain grumpy. Either way


  • Sometimes the exit doors at my work get stuck and an older woman, instead of trying the other two doors, turned around and asked me, “how do I get out?” I told her to try the other door and what do you know, it opened.

Use Your Brain

  • Things people do that annoy me, and it’s part of an extremely long list: taking their time when people are clearly waiting on them to move. Examples: 1) people who take their time gathering their shit or putting their money away 2) people who fiddle around in their car when someone’s waiting for them to pull out of the parking spot.

Come On

  • I don’t understand how a person can show up to the movies and not know what they’re seeing. They’re part of the group of people I was talking about above…fucking standing there for 5 minutes trying to decide on a movie, that they don’t even know the plot for, while everyone behind them has to wait for their dumb asses.

That Is Stupid

  • Getting the right ratio of oats to marshmallows when eating Lucky Charms, so that you have enough marshmallows at the end, is a science.


  • I’m trying to mentally prepare myself for the estrogen filled madness that is to come at work, with yet another Nicholas Sparks movie coming out. We’ll have the teens/20 somethings seeing it in hopes that they find a love like that, and the 30 and 40 somethings watching and wondering why their husbands couldn’t look/act like that. Kill me now.

Kill Me Now

  • For those of you who are single and actually care about not having someone to buy you fucking flowers and chocolates, here have a pole dancing chicken and stop your crying.

Stripping Chicken


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