Random Thoughts of the Week: September 21st-27th

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  • I went out to eat with my sister, and I swear every person in the place had at least 2 kids with them.

  • I worked on updating my stepdad’s iphone for over 9 hours. Thanks for a fantastic day, Apple.

  • My sister was looking at the lizards that were on the living room window when she turns to me and says, “make sure to lock the back door.” As if the lizards were somehow going to open the door.

  • I had a grown ass person cough all over me.

  • A woman was struggling to open the door at work and when she walked in she asked, “did I come in the wrong door?” I told her she came in the exit door and she said, “that’s why I couldn’t get the door open.” Oh you mean you were having trouble opening a DOOR WITH NO HANDLE?!

  • On our TVs at work we have a clip of a lady getting slammed in the face with a watermelon; it plays every 5 minutes.

  • Wear deodorant, everyone. There’s no excuse for smelling like a Subway sandwich shop, unless you just got done working out; if that’s the case, go shower before you sit down somewhere and force everyone to bear the smell of you.

  • A lady opened two separate items in front of me and just handed me her trash.

  • I was in a theatre cleaning and the next thing I know, there’s a high pitched sound coming from the other end of the building. At first, I thought someone was peeling out in the parking lot, but it was really just a girl I work with screaming bloody murder because there was a cricket.

  • My sister bought 50 Shades of Grey.

  • I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before, but I’ll say it again if you didn’t pay attention the first time. Do not stand in the middle of the sidewalk to have a conversation, you’re an asshole if you do. Can you not take one fucking step over and stand in the grass? Is that too much effort for you, jackass?

  • You’re also an asshole if you throw your gum anywhere other than a trash can…or maybe off in a ditch while you’re driving; if I step in it or have to touch it because you couldn’t wait 5 seconds until you passed a trash can then you’re an inconsiderate little prick. I set my backpack under my seat and when I picked it up to go, there was gum all over it, which in turn got all over my shirt. So to whoever put there gum on the ground in a freaking classroom or didn’t bother to pick it up after it fell out of their fucking mouth, thanks for being a Grade A Dick!

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