Random Thoughts of the Week: June 29th-July 5th

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  • I’ve never understood how women can be alright with the double boob thing. Do you not have a mirror? Can you not tell that your bra is too tight and your boobs are being suffocated?

  • I’m pretty sure showers just make you sound better when you sing, which is unfortunate. That false encouragement leads to embarrassing moments.

  • I was selling tickets for the midnight showing of Magic Mike (a movie about strippers) and three 17 year olds came up to buy tickets. One of them said, “I only have a bunch of ones.” I replied, “well you’re seeing the right movie.” They didn’t laugh.
  • Same night, an 18 year old guy walks up and asks for a ticket to Magic Mike while his two friends look at him like he’s crazy. He corrected himself saying he wanted a ticket to Ted….you know what they say about Freudian slips. That kid totally wants the penis.

  • I was checking IDs for Magic Mike again and one girls says, “I didn’t know this was rated R.”

  • I asked for a girl’s ticket and she pulled out 3 different stubs saying, “sorry, these are my movie pants.”

  • I had a woman say to me, “you’re a Nazi…no offense.” I’m pretty sure someone should always be offended when someone calls them a Nazi.

  • I can’t help but sing along to “Call Me Maybe.”

  • One of the new guys at work hugged me…
  • Do you ever wonder what someone sees in someone else? Like, what is it that’s keeping you from gouging your own eyes out when they start talking? I’m just sitting there thinking:

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