- Boys and their knives; it’s like they’re comparing their penises. “Oh let me whip mine out…mine’s bigger and better than your’s is and can ‘stab’ things better!”
- I just realized the other day that I never really spent anytime with my friends outside of school as a kid. I always see groups of children getting dropped off by their parents and running around together. I never did that; I think I just spent all my time hanging out with my parents.
- It’s usually not a good sign when your parents have a better social life when you do. For instance, this past weekend I was sitting at home while my parents were out until midnight or later two nights in a row.
- If I don’t acknowledge that you’re talking to me the first time, don’t continue to try and talk to me. I’m ignoring you for a reason.
- I’m fairly certain that my OCD is keeping me from having a badass hairstyle going on. My hair (seriously, every single hair) has to be perfectly placed or else I get frustrated.
- I don’t like people who don’t use their eyes and read the signs that are right in front of them…and I’m not being metaphorical. I mean the people who ask you a question that is clearly explained by a sign that has big ass lettering telling you what to do. It’s not that hard. I know that the school system sucks balls, but I’m pretty sure that they’re teaching everyone how to read basic english.
- Apparently over the past few years I have come to a point where I get a sunburn from being outside for like 5 minutes…no joke. I went to high school with a kid who had to wear sunscreen just to walk into school, and I laughed about that. Not so funny now, and it gets worse because I drive with my windows down and my arm out the window. Needless to say, my left arm is “darker” than my right arm.
- I hate public restrooms. I avoid them at all costs, even if it means risking a bladder infection.
- Kids with manners are the only kind of kids I can remotely stand. I was walking to my car after out last soccer game and one of the kids on my soccer team ran up to me and said in the softest voice ever, “coach…thank you.”He was also my favorite of all the kids, not hard to see why when you compare him to the evil ginger that I’ve talked about a few times.