Random Thoughts of the Week: May 4th-10th

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  • I was just thinking that it’s got to be unfortunate to date Kanye West. Think about it, they’re probably in the middle of having sex and he’s all like, “Imma let you finish, but…”

  • I hate the moment when I find out who I’m working with, because 95% of the time it’s with someone I can’t stand. My HR manager must get a kick out of it.

  • It’s always awkward when girls don’t know if they should hug a guy or not so they go for the weird high five.

  • You know how they always say, children are the future? We should be scared, because that sounds terrible.

  • Nothing should ever start at 8AM or earlier. School (especially finals), work, whatever else it is that you do. It’s cruel and unnecessary. What will waiting until 9 really hurt? I think we’d all be better off.

  • I don’t understand how anyone can show up for a test without a scantron. They’ve known there was going to be a test ever since the first day of class. How difficult is it to go to the bookstore and buy a package for $2? I give people scantrons like a creep gives out free candy. Yeah, I made that joke…get over it.

  • I was walking to a completely empty soccer field, about 10 minutes before practice, and an older kid asked me if I was waiting on my soccer team. I told him that I was and he provided me with this: “they aren’t here yet.”

  • I’m always a little surprised when I have the thought that I’m going to miss some people from my classes once the semester is over.

  • I hate that moment when you see a bug crawling around and then you look away for a minute (probably to grab a shoe) and when you look back it’s gone…that’s when the oh-my-god-where-did-it-go-it-is-going-to-crawl-in-my-mouth-while-i-am-sleeping moment happens.

  • I find it amusing that some of the people who criticize my tattoos are people who smoke. They say, “oh that’ll look great when you’re 80.” Too bad you won’t be around to see it because you’ll probably be dead from lung cancer. At least my tattoos don’t have the possibility to kill me; shame you can’t say the same.

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