Random Thoughts of the Week: April 20th-26th

  • I don’t like when people walk behind me on campus. I’m 5’1, which means I have a short stride, which means people walk faster than me. Them being directly behind me creeps me out; they need to pass me, slow down, or fall in a hole.

  • I passed a guy on campus riding a unicycle to class…I guess he’s too good for two wheels.

  • We watched a clip in class about false memories where this woman was raped by a black guy. She said the suspect was Ronald Cotton, but it turns out that after 11 years, DNA evidence proved that he was innocent. They wrote a book about the incident and titled it “Picking Cotton”…I mean really? Picking cotton? Why would a publisher let them title the book that?

  • I’m not sure why these moms for the soccer team I coach think that I want to hear their problems, but they tell me anyways. One of the moms I was talking to kept throwing in little jibes at her husband because they’re “separated” and she “doesn’t always get all of the information she needs.” I may be a psychology major, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear this mess. These ladies need to join a book club or something so they’ll have someone who’s older than 6 to talk to, and someone who isn’t me.

  • I think the most annoying thing to me is someone who eats like an animal…it’s not that hard to chew with your mouth closed. Does no one tell these people that it’s disgusting? If you have a friend that eats like a camel then do them, and everyone else, a favor and tell them to stop it.

  • There’s a guy in my class who pretty much just repeats everything that someone else has already said. Why are you raising your hand? Stop it, we get it; you agree with them, good for you. He doesn’t even just say that. He seriously rewords what they’ve already said.

  • I spent at least an hour watching this girl play with her hair instead of what my professor was saying. She was practically weaving a basket. I can’t decide if I was impressed or concerned by the amount of time she obviously spends doing this everyday. She was like Rapunzel, all cooped up and nothing to do but play with her hair.

  • I feel sorry for the men in my sexual behavior class; one of the videos we had to watch was showing clips from pornos. I’m sure a lot of them were a little uncomfortable, if you know what I mean…I feel like this was happening for a lot of them:

  • If I let you out in front of me and you don’t give me a courtesy wave or a nod then you’re an asshole. It’s not that hard to acknowledge, just do it! Just lift your hand, maybe just a finger, the chin, whatever you feel like, just lift it an inch.

  • It’s incredibly unfortunate that a person’s ears and nose never stop growing. I think Disney was preparing us for that little fact of life when he made Dumbo and Pinocchio. Well played, Walt.
  • At my soccer game on Saturday, the team I was coaching against had a kid diving. For those of you who don’t know soccer lingo, that means he fell to the ground and acted like he was hurt…but as the ball rolled past him he jumped up and took it to the other end and scored.

  • I don’t know if any of you watched El Clásico on Saturday, but the announcer ended the telecast with, “there’s going to be a lot of hoochie coochie for the Real Madrid players tonight.” What an awkward thing to say.

  • I don’t like people who don’t appreciate good music, and yes, I consider most of the music I listen to to be good music. What I mean is, people who don’t like the oldies, or don’t even know what the oldies are, shouldn’t even be allowed to listen to music.

  • It’s crazy how there are hardly ever black people at the movie theatre I work at, but when a Tyler perry movie or a movie with almost all black actors comes out they come out in groups? Where have they been this whole time?

  • Why are teenagers such idiots when it comes to needing an ID for something? “I don’t have it with me, but I’m obviously old enough.” Really? If you were old enough then you should be smart enough to have your ID with you.

  • I passed three girls and the only part of their conversation that I heard was “it’s really big, but then it shrinks back up.” I can only assume they were talking about some guy’s penis.

  • I had a stranger tell me that I didn’t look excited. This is my face, there isn’t anything I can do about that. Do I have to walk around with a creepy ass smile 24/7 for people to think I’m excited/happy? You’d be surprised how often I have to hear this from people, especially strangers.

  • Do you think people would think I was happy and excited if I walked around like this?

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