Random Thoughts of the Week: April 13th-19th

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  • Who decided the middle finger was a good way to indicate “fuck you” without saying anything?

  • Since I don’t drink, any time I go to a bar with my friends, I go specifically to judge people on their life and clothing choices. You should all try it if you’re of age. Go to a bar, remain completely sober and look at everyone around you; it’s extremely amusing. You’ll probably see at least one person do this…

  • How many chips come in a fucking bag? I’m fairly certain the girl behind me was doing her best to make that tiny bag of chips last the entire 80minutes of class. Punch me in the face! If she wasn’t eating, she was talking to the guy next to her. I wish I had the courage to turn around and hit her in the face with a book.

  • I think if more people had the guts to say something to people who are being jackasses then we would have less jackasses in the world. Most of us just stand by and silently judge them, probably hoping that they choke. By not saying anything, they go on making people’s lives miserable and thinking that it’s all fine.

  • If you read my random thoughts every week then you will be familiar with the feminist I’ve mentioned in the past few weeks. Well she dropped this bit of knowledge on us last week, “the iPhone has a vibrator app.” The things that come out of her mouth alarm me. Why would you say that to a class of 150 students? Even if you read it on the internet somewhere, we’re all assuming that you’ve used it before…which is gross.

  • She also has this weird way of raising her had. She puts the back of her hand facing out towards the professor and then flips it around. I want to start playing the single ladies song whenever I see it.

  • I’m not too sure what was in the water this week, but the kids on the soccer team that I coach were spazzing out. Granted, they’re 5 and 6 and are normally pretty energetic, but this week was insane. It was like trying to get a pack of wild animals to play soccer. So when people ask me how it’s going…

  • It’s always a weird moment when you know someone knows something that you haven’t actually told anyone about, but they don’t know that you know that they know.

  • I can’t stand when people complain about something that they bring on themselves. If you would stop acting like an idiot then these things wouldn’t happen to you.

  • Have you seen the Liberty Mutual commercial, the one where it’s a pay it forward kind of thing? The tag line is “everyday millions of people choose to do the right thing,” and at the very end it shows a lady holding the door open for a blind woman. I feel like the tag line should be “everyday millions of people choose to not be assholes.”

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