Random Thoughts of the Week: April 5th-12th

  • Why are some professors such assholes? Really, you can’t post your notes online? I get that you want us to come to class, but we’re paying thousands of dollars to make that choice. What does it matter to you? Hell, I even go to one of my classes pretty much every time and I just don’t take notes because he says he puts the slides online…he forgot to tell us that they lacked pretty much all the information. What a dick!

  • You know the desks/chairs are too close in the classrooms when a person’s ass slides across your desk to get by; and I’m being literal when I say “ass.” This girl was wearing “shorts” that barely covered her ass when she slid it across my desk. It doesn’t matter how tiny of a person you are, it is impossible to get by without hitting someone or almost molesting someone.

  • On that same note, if your shorts are that short then why did you bother putting pants on?

  • If you raise your hand in class to speak, then you had better stop whispering and speak up. If the professor has to continually ask you to speak up then you might as well just keep your hand down.

  • In my sexual behavior class we were talking about a rape scenario and my professor used a metaphor about an intersection. When he took a poll of the class asking if we thought it was the woman’s fault a guy raised his hand saying yes. He played off of the intersection metaphor saying that they came to a red light and the guy just decided to run the red light and another girl blurted out, “yeah, that’s against the law.”

  • I had another lady ask if we knew each other. I’m fairly certain at this point that there is a doppelgänger running around within 15 miles of me. It’s a little creepy.

  • I saw a 5 year old drinking a monster…what is wrong with parents these days?

  • I cannot stand people who are incompetent and I’m fairly certain that 90% of the people I work with definitely are. Some, go above and beyond. I don’t have any patience for it, which sometimes gets me into a little bit of trouble. I just don’t understand why people can’t use common sense, it’s not that difficult.

  • People are fucking inconsiderate assholes!

  • What’s the deal with spray butter? Once there is a certain amount left in the bottle, you have to hold it at exactly the right angle to get any butter to come out. I usually end up spraying the wall because I have to hold the bottle completely vertical along with whatever it is that I’m spraying.

  • I was on campus walking behind this group of four girls and a guy when they stopped to smell some flowers or some shit. First of all they’re blocking the entire sidewalk, but then all of a sudden one of the girls pushed the other girl into the bush and she fell to the ground. Listen here, if someone, friend or not, pushed me into a bush in front of a bunch of people I would come up swinging.

  • I drove past two ladies, dressed in jeans and sequined tops, walking a dog. They might as well throw on some hooker heels and work the corner.

  • I don’t like when people take food into the restroom. That’s disgusting. Haven’t you heard how far germs from toilets travel? People at the movies do it all the time with their popcorn. So you want some butter and a little toilet water to top that off? Gross!

  • I don’t like women who “woohoo” all the time. It’s really unnecessary; we get that you’re excited. If you need that much attention throw yourself a birthday party. Now, do us a favor and go play in traffic.

  • In my spanish class we had to say a sentence out loud that expressed some kind of reciprocal action. The guy who sits next to me, who I  talk to all the time, had no clue what he was supposed to be doing. First he said, in spanish, that he wanted a drink; Then, our professor told him that that wouldn’t work. He then tried saying that he and I wanted a drink, which still doesn’t work. Eventually, our professor supplied him with the example, “Amanda y yo nos queremos,” which he agreed with. In english, that means that we want each other. This could not be further from the truth and he still had no idea what he was saying, while the rest of the class was just cracking up. I told my professor that I wanted no part of that.  I think it’s safe to say that that moment was lost in translation.

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