At The Movies With Idiots And Assholes

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I was inspired by Alex’s post on Wednesday and wanted to add my two cents on the matter, but I won’t put mine as nicely as she did. Here are the top 5 things people do at the movie theatre that annoy me, and I had to keep it at 5 or else I would be writing a novel.

5. People who start shoving their popcorn in their face when they’re still in the lobby. Could you really not wait one minute until you sat down to start dropping your popcorn all over the ground, and leaving a trail all the way to the theatre? If you absolutely must start eating immediately, then at least get it in your fucking mouth. Is that too much to ask?

4.People who state the obvious. Yes, it is super messy in there (no thanks to you asshole) and I can use my own eyes to see that; I don’t need you to tell me Captain Obvious. For example, today there was an entire drink spilled on the floor and this guy walks by and says, “looks like you got a spill there.”

3.The people who complain about things I have no control over. I have so many people come up to me and say, “there’s no sound in #__.” I always go through the same routine and it’s always the same conversation. I ask if their movie has started, knowing already that the answer is no and they confirm. If your movie hasn’t started then what is the problem? Do you really want to listen to that shitty music and the advertisements over and over again for 30 minutes? I certainly wouldn’t.


2.The ones who can’t read. Seriously, the door says exit. Yes, it’s backwards to them, which to me is an even bigger indicator that they shouldn’t be trying to enter through it. It doesn’t even have a freaking door handle! Do they think we just like to mess with people and put gibberish on the door and take off the handles, just to see how many idiots there are? I’m amazed at how many people a day I see try and enter through doors like that. They walk right by the doors with handles, that clearly say “entry,” and go to the ones without that say, “tixe.” I’m about as confused as they are, but for a completely different reason.

1.People who walk in to sit down when I haven’t finished cleaning. I realize the sign has changed to “Now Seating,” but have you seen me walk out yet? Where the hell do you think I go after I’m done? I can’t teleport or walk through walls; I have to use the same door I walked in through. Then there are those people who still see that you’re cleaning and go ahead and sit down anyways. Well sure be my guest, I’ll just sweep around your fat ass while your kids run around and do whatever the hell they want.

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