Wow. It’s been almost a month since our last post on here. I’m taking all the blame for that, because Amanda has had multiple ideas and I’ve had diddly shit, but I continued to make her wait until I did mine. So this long overdue post will come in three parts.
PART ONE: NaNoWriMo
I started NaNoWriMo for the first time this year and that’s been taking up a lot of my free time. What’s NaNoWriMo? I’m so glad you asked, random viewer. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. It is a challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. It sounds easy, but it can be extremely stressful once you’ve run out of ideas. Like, you start off with a bunch of steam and about half way through you’re ready to set your computer on fire.
Not only is it hard to come up with ideas, the stuff I do have down has got to be the worst thing ever written. But struggles aside, I live the concept of NaNoWriMo. For years I’ve been trying to write a decent story, and after like three days I always quit and threw the notebook I was using into some storage space with a bunch of other failed ideas. This challenge gives me and so many others a chance to actually complete what we set out to do. If I can finish this novel in time, even if it’s a complete wreck, it’s going to be a huge boost to my self esteem.
PART TWO: STRESS
The other reason I’ve been away is due to super high stress levels. I have got to be in the biggest Sophomore slump of all time. This semester had been like a terrorist attack on my GPA. And I basically just sit in my room and try to study and avoid everyone and everything. All the bad grades I’ve been getting have got me completely stressed out. Whenever I get stressed, which is 97% of the time, I dig myself into this funk. I’m already a pretty negative human being, but when I’m in a funk, that negativity level shoots up about 200%. I’ve been in this funk for about two weeks, and it can get really frustrating. Like, I joke about hating everyone, but the there are days when I actually hate everyone and it’s draining. I don’t like being that negative person all the time, because it makes me an ugly person and I’m not. Okay, I’m done with this little blurb. Time to move on to
PART THREE: SOCIAL ANXIETY
As I mentioned above, I don’t really like people. But I don’t like myself even more. I try to act like I don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about me, but that’s completely untrue. Rejection terrifies me to the core, and if somebody that I see a potential friendship with doesn’t like me, I take is super personally. It is because of this that I don’t meet new people very often. Everyone is like “you’re in college, you should try to make new friends” but I can’t. Ive made like four new friends since I’ve been in school. And it’s not like I’m super lonely. I have really good friends back home and I don’t have an issue waiting two or three weeks to see them again because when I do we have the best time. But there are times when I wish I had more people to hang out with here.
Gah. Okay pity party over. Just needed to get things off my chest before I had a mental breakdown.
I promise to update more often with things that you will actually enjoy reading.