Storytime with Alex: Sass and Death Threats

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Hey, kids! It’s time for

STORY TIME WITH ALEX.

This is a short tale, but it says a lot about me as a person.

When I was maybe thirteen or fourteen, my friends had just come out of a movie, and were waiting for our ride home.

[Side note: I always feel so lame waiting for a ride, even today. I’d almost rather walk to my destination.]

ANYWAY. So my friends and I are huddled outside, when this twenty-something guy that was smoking (the verb, not the adjective) walks by. I don’t know why, but I felt extremely compelled to shout out a smartass remark.

In a voice that was a mix of projection and mumbling, I called out, “I hope you know smoking kills!”

The man didn’t respond, so I just assumed that he didn’t hear me.

Not a minute later, as he is about to enter the theatre, he shouts “I hope you know being a dumb bitch can get you shot!”

To which I said…

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