Hey, kids! It’s time for
STORY TIME WITH ALEX.
This is a short tale, but it says a lot about me as a person.
When I was maybe thirteen or fourteen, my friends had just come out of a movie, and were waiting for our ride home.
[Side note: I always feel so lame waiting for a ride, even today. I’d almost rather walk to my destination.]
ANYWAY. So my friends and I are huddled outside, when this twenty-something guy that was smoking (the verb, not the adjective) walks by. I don’t know why, but I felt extremely compelled to shout out a smartass remark.
In a voice that was a mix of projection and mumbling, I called out, “I hope you know smoking kills!”
The man didn’t respond, so I just assumed that he didn’t hear me.
Not a minute later, as he is about to enter the theatre, he shouts “I hope you know being a dumb bitch can get you shot!”
To which I said…