Random Thoughts of the Week: November 29th-December 5th

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•Have you guys ever actually thought about Chik-Fil-A’s advertisements? I only just thought about the fact that their entire approach is to have cows pleading for people to eat/kill more chickens instead of killing/eating cows.

That's Messed Up

•Life tip: close your blinds. My brother and I drove by a house with all of the blinds open and I could see everything that was happening. In the room upstairs, I shit you not, it looked like a kid was taking a vacuum hose to penis. I’m scarred forever.

I'm gonna need fucking therapy after this

•My brother puts on music while he drives and then looks up the lyrics so he can sing along. Not only is he trying to read while driving, he still isn’t getting the words right. He’s totally going to get us killed, and the last thing I’ll hear is my brother speaking gibberish to a beat.

Angry and Judgmental

A woman told me we should get paid time and a half for working on Thanksgiving…uhh how about you stay home and we won’t have to work at all.

push someone away

•I told a guy his total and he asked, “are you guys still taking cash?….I heard Obama was restricting cash.” 

Joking around *stops immediately*

Apparently a guy I work with is planning on buying a bunch of dildos to throw at the foreign exchange student that is staying with him. Nothing says, “welcome to America” quite like a dildo to the face.

Colbert America

•A guy told my brother to have a good night and my brother said, “you’re welcome.”

Crushed it.

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